maybe it's just in the stars...

clearly this blog is not one of those 'once a day habits' :P

i've been pondering a concept the past few months...

people are often canalized in youth; this can apply to food likes and dislikes - political affiliations - and most often the way we interact with, judge, and respond to the people around us on a day-to-day...

these past few weeks the tendency that's been intriguing me is a simple form of attraction... if you've ever asked me 'what's your type' the typical answer would be 'tall, thin, big nose... funny, smart and willing to put up with my brand of goof'

never really have understood that 'big nose' part of it... well, except... ok who the hell am i kidding we All Know why i head for those of the impressive schnoz... and, in fact, it does matter }:-)

But the true fact is - that hasn't been my type in a very long time and never really was... i just dated a string of dudes that fell into that description... but when i'm honest with myself, what catches my eye - what causes unexpected rushes of blood to bodyparts unnamed and electric tingles to frisson through nerve endings temporarily forgotten... is as disparate from that description as my current job is from my chosen profession...

a few months ago I finally figured out where the dichotomy broke (if not why it exists)... when I was young I was really into greek mythology, and in my mind i was kin to artemis... the maiden warrior who ran with night, better and faster and stronger than any man... a fierce competitor, but kind to - the champion of - those small weak creatures that could not defend themselves... when I'm very honest with myself I see how very much that has shaped the woman i have become in this life.

If you read the version of the myths that i did - you'll know the only man ever able to get through her ice-queen exterior was one heralded as the greatest human hunter of all time - a warrior like herself - skilled with any weapon he placed his large hands upon, yet secure enough in his own skills to allow the goddess to be herself in all ways without once trying to possess or overcome her... a partner in the hunt, and eventually in her heart... Orion

For as long as I can remember seeing his form begin to travel across our horizon (the true reason I never mind when the seasons once again turn cold) has brought a smile to my lips and a whispered 'hello' and my tastes for this 'sort' of man run clearly through my preferences and sympathies... and yet in thirty years i'd never put my finger on the 'why' of it... for when someone in our 'modern' society typically envisions 'hunter' the thought comes attached to images of overly-testosterone-full unempathetic 'manly-men' and not someone i'd necessarily choose to have a conversation with left to my own devices...

But the orion i 'know' is hardly a zero on the kinsey scale... instead he is a man of honor above reproach (in terms of his dealings with the goddess) and an enthusiastic and equal partner in their exploits through field and forest... i can't deny i've always longed to share the fight with a worthy compatriot.. and it no longer surprises me when a dark and flashing pair of eyes sets my heart to race, a crooked and inviting grin to curl my lips...

it's probably a good thing i don't have a twin brother...